Honey Don't

Apr. 5th, 2012 01:26 am
tyguardofhelios: (John - Smoking)
[personal profile] tyguardofhelios
It has been a long time since someone tried to so clumsily manipulate me.

Though I really shouldn't be surprised, the girl in question is a lot like the people who did this to me last in middle school. She's insecure and tries to make up for it by controlling everything and everyone around her. My biggest issue is her mental and emotional instability are encroaching like weeds on my well tended garden of life.

Her comment tonight was directed at the fact that I, as she puts it, "play the fence" when it comes to my interactions with staff. This stems from the fact that she thinks all of staff hate her, a thought which I tried to temper with my observation that I'm pretty sure our staff members are just ignorant because it's the end of the school year and they're all more self focused. This was not what she wanted to hear. I'm QUITE sure she wanted me to play the game with her and indulge and justify that her feeling of isolation wasn't erupting from her own internal paranoia, but actual malicious actions on the part of everyone on staff. So she mocked the fact that I keep away from staff drama to the best of my ability, but still care what they think. I told her that I dislike people being angry with me and do my best to avoid it. This means I don't intentionally start problems or antagonize people when I know that the issue or situation is so minor it doesn't warrant such action. She replied, "that's unrealistic, don't you wonder how many toes you've stepped on doing that?" to which I responded that I'm pretty sure I've never truly and permanently upset anyone and that no one I know is my enemy. At this point she said in a very cruel cold 'I know different' tone "as far as you know..."

Don't pull this with me. She already tries to monopolize my time and block my interactions with the rest of staff. I spent yesterday evening studying with another group of staff members and her response to it this morning was cold and scathing. When I had planned to go out Sunday she made a comment about how I was going out maybe too often. I know she's trying to slowly control my activities to her liking, and this is unacceptable. I like the person I am, I like the way I interact with people, I like my usually calm and balanced social life.

I do not like someone who is trying to turn me against people I enjoy the company of, who uses tears as black mail, and who feels the need to dictate how I live my life. For these reasons I will be pulling back from our friendship on the grounds that a friend should make you feel that through your interactions you become more of the person you'd like to be, that they improve you. She does not improve me, she makes life seem shallow and petty and that is unforgivable.
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tyguardofhelios: (Default)

June 2012

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